The habits that lead to Interdependence
The next three habits in Stephen R. Covey's list address the subject of interdepence, which includes the cooperation of many for a goal that surpasses the individuals. Dependent people are not yet ready to take a leap towards interdependence.
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Synopsis: Use empathetic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, respect, and positive problem solving.
Habit 6: Synergize
Synopsis: Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals no one person could have done alone. Get the best performance out of a group of people through encouraging meaningful contribution, and modeling inspirational and supportive leadership.
Now, let us elaborate on these habits. After you have defined your goals, it is important not to ignore the fact that we live in societies and that our lives are constantly affected by other people. It is vital to remember that the responsibily for our lives is up to us, but using the contribution of others and aknowledging their presence can lead more effectively to the End.
The belief that in order for us to win, someone else has to lose is a scarcity belief, which can only lead to narrow-mindness. This world is abundant and plenty of opportunities arise in every corner. If you perceive your reality as a world of scarcity, that belief will be illustrated in your life. Nothing will ever be enough, because you wouldn't have realised or perceived the abundance and the beauty of the universe.
Fight-win relationships can only lead to war. If we understand that we are powerful creatures pursuing happiness and fulfillment, though, we will abandon the need to fight. We will be grasping the very essence of cooperation.
In order to boost cooperation, it is imperative to develop a genuine wilingness to understand others. Empathy, caring, respect and positive thinking will not only help the other person, but also ourselves. Our inner mind will immediately perceive the importance of our action, and how profoundly it is in accord with our true and powerful self. Here it is, a win-win relationship in it's finest form!
When we manage to truly listen and understand the other person, we shall be free from the need to condemn and complain. Nothing hurtful will be tormenting us, because we will know, accept and cherish the present moment. Together, we will walk more easily towards our goals, and in accordance with nature.
Separation is an illusion, just as much as darkness is the lack of light. It has no special essence of its own.
The Last habit relates to self-rejuvenation:
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
Synopsis: Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle. And learn from the mistakes...
Our nature is better in tune with the universe when we are in motion. When we feel fear, it is as if we pause our current state of creativity. Our creative powers are numbed. And what happens when you numb the creative powers of a creative being? We flee from our true selves. Our inner mind will perceive the imbalance, ofcourse. Sharpening the Saw is about balancing and renewing your resources. Finding new ground to cover, findind new ideas to reflect. It is about the necessity to keep ourselves healthy and effective. The world includes an endless abundance of things to see, do and create. Straying from the creative path may lead to unhappiness and regret.
Learning from our mistakes is also another important part of this process. It is quite easy to feel guilt, or to abandon our cause when we make mistakes. Yet, is is vital to understand that we only see the path we want to walk upon, through the path we do not want to, just as much we understand light through its absence (darkness). Mistakes help us grow and mature, if we do not let them rule our present moment. Being enslaved by the past also numbs our creative self. This self wishes to extend and experience, yet we deny the self that opportunity because we are enslaved by the past and the future. Mistakes should not be condemned. It is ok to make mistakes. Mistakes are the seeds that make the fruits of acceptance and self-awareness.
Proactivity is also an amazing concept!
Viktor Frankl was a Jewish psychiatrist who survived the death camps of Nazi Germany. While in the death camps, Frankl realized that he alone had the power to determine his response to the horror of the situation. He exercised the only freedom he had in that environment by envisioning himself teaching students after his release. He became an inspiration for others around him. He realized that in the middle of the stimulus-response model, humans have the freedom to choose. Frankl was pro-active. He understood that no matter the situation, he had the power to control his responce and produce a different result.
Animals do not have this independent will. They respond to a stimulus like a computer responds to its program. They are not aware of their programming and do not have the ability to change it. The model of determinism was developed based on experiments with animals and neurotic people. Such a model neglects our ability to choose how we will respond to stimuli. If we accept that in a certain situation there is nothing to be done, we become passive and do nothing. Proactivity is about being driven by values. It is about knowing thyself. Gandhi said, "They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them." Our response to what happened to us affects us more than what actually happened! We can choose to use difficult situations to build our character and develop the ability to better handle such situations in the future.
Proactive people use their resourcefulness and initiative to find solutions, rather than just reporting problems and waiting for other people to solve them. Besides, through proactive action the person takes matters into his/her own hands.
Take care :D
The next three habits in Stephen R. Covey's list address the subject of interdepence, which includes the cooperation of many for a goal that surpasses the individuals. Dependent people are not yet ready to take a leap towards interdependence.
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Synopsis: Genuinely strive for mutually beneficial solutions or
agreements in your relationships. Value and respect people by
understanding a "win" for all is ultimately a better long-term
resolution than if only one person in the situation had gotten his way. Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Synopsis: Use empathetic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, respect, and positive problem solving.
Habit 6: Synergize
Synopsis: Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals no one person could have done alone. Get the best performance out of a group of people through encouraging meaningful contribution, and modeling inspirational and supportive leadership.
Now, let us elaborate on these habits. After you have defined your goals, it is important not to ignore the fact that we live in societies and that our lives are constantly affected by other people. It is vital to remember that the responsibily for our lives is up to us, but using the contribution of others and aknowledging their presence can lead more effectively to the End.
The belief that in order for us to win, someone else has to lose is a scarcity belief, which can only lead to narrow-mindness. This world is abundant and plenty of opportunities arise in every corner. If you perceive your reality as a world of scarcity, that belief will be illustrated in your life. Nothing will ever be enough, because you wouldn't have realised or perceived the abundance and the beauty of the universe.
Fight-win relationships can only lead to war. If we understand that we are powerful creatures pursuing happiness and fulfillment, though, we will abandon the need to fight. We will be grasping the very essence of cooperation.
In order to boost cooperation, it is imperative to develop a genuine wilingness to understand others. Empathy, caring, respect and positive thinking will not only help the other person, but also ourselves. Our inner mind will immediately perceive the importance of our action, and how profoundly it is in accord with our true and powerful self. Here it is, a win-win relationship in it's finest form!
When we manage to truly listen and understand the other person, we shall be free from the need to condemn and complain. Nothing hurtful will be tormenting us, because we will know, accept and cherish the present moment. Together, we will walk more easily towards our goals, and in accordance with nature.
Separation is an illusion, just as much as darkness is the lack of light. It has no special essence of its own.
The Last habit relates to self-rejuvenation:
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
Synopsis: Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle. And learn from the mistakes...
Our nature is better in tune with the universe when we are in motion. When we feel fear, it is as if we pause our current state of creativity. Our creative powers are numbed. And what happens when you numb the creative powers of a creative being? We flee from our true selves. Our inner mind will perceive the imbalance, ofcourse. Sharpening the Saw is about balancing and renewing your resources. Finding new ground to cover, findind new ideas to reflect. It is about the necessity to keep ourselves healthy and effective. The world includes an endless abundance of things to see, do and create. Straying from the creative path may lead to unhappiness and regret.
Learning from our mistakes is also another important part of this process. It is quite easy to feel guilt, or to abandon our cause when we make mistakes. Yet, is is vital to understand that we only see the path we want to walk upon, through the path we do not want to, just as much we understand light through its absence (darkness). Mistakes help us grow and mature, if we do not let them rule our present moment. Being enslaved by the past also numbs our creative self. This self wishes to extend and experience, yet we deny the self that opportunity because we are enslaved by the past and the future. Mistakes should not be condemned. It is ok to make mistakes. Mistakes are the seeds that make the fruits of acceptance and self-awareness.
Proactivity is also an amazing concept!
Viktor Frankl was a Jewish psychiatrist who survived the death camps of Nazi Germany. While in the death camps, Frankl realized that he alone had the power to determine his response to the horror of the situation. He exercised the only freedom he had in that environment by envisioning himself teaching students after his release. He became an inspiration for others around him. He realized that in the middle of the stimulus-response model, humans have the freedom to choose. Frankl was pro-active. He understood that no matter the situation, he had the power to control his responce and produce a different result.
Animals do not have this independent will. They respond to a stimulus like a computer responds to its program. They are not aware of their programming and do not have the ability to change it. The model of determinism was developed based on experiments with animals and neurotic people. Such a model neglects our ability to choose how we will respond to stimuli. If we accept that in a certain situation there is nothing to be done, we become passive and do nothing. Proactivity is about being driven by values. It is about knowing thyself. Gandhi said, "They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them." Our response to what happened to us affects us more than what actually happened! We can choose to use difficult situations to build our character and develop the ability to better handle such situations in the future.
Proactive people use their resourcefulness and initiative to find solutions, rather than just reporting problems and waiting for other people to solve them. Besides, through proactive action the person takes matters into his/her own hands.
Take care :D
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